The Austyn Josephine Series Part 2- The Birth

I woke up around 1:30 am

"Something is weird, Trent," I said, in a shaky voice. "I think these babies are coming!"

He, of course, was knocked out and had to process what I was saying. My mom came to be with Alivia and we headed to the hospital. Here I am, in active labor, whining to Trent because I won't be able to take Alivia to the circus the next day. It was going to be our last "only child" family outing before the twins came. This is what I was talking about in between contractions on the way to the hospital😅

about 1 hour before Trent Anthony and Austyn Josephine were born

My plan was for a drug free vaginal birth. That's what I did with Alivia and these babies were both head down so that's what I was going to do here. They got me all hooked up to the monitors and decided to do a last minute ultrasound. 

"Oh Shit!'' These were the words the doctor said when she looked at the ultrasound. "Twin B (Austyn) is breech."

Damnit! I didn't want to have to recover from a c-section while my daughter was going to be recovering from open heart surgery, ya know! I mean, how the hell was that going to work?? 

The doctor checked me and her face went into "go time" mode.

"You are like 8 centimeters. These babies are coming now!"

Uhhh yeah....that what I tried to tell y'all😬

They start to talk to me about a c-section. They are NOT trying to hear about my plans for this birth. I felt like they couldn't see me as a mom in labor but as a woman pregnant with a kid who's heart didn't work. I understand the birth becomes much more complicated when there are twins and even more complicated when one has a CHD. It was my understanding, though, that as long as the umbilical cord was attached, her blood would mix just fine and she would be OK. I am NOT a doctor so I could be totally wrong about that. The point is, I DIDN'T FEEL HEARD! I was scared shitless about what we were about to find when Austyn came out and no one was taking care of me. No one was tending to my fear and my words. 

I was so far along when I got there that my doctor didn't make it to the hospital. I had just laid eyes on these doctors and they had just laid eyes on me.....and my chart. I get that they are the professionals and they want to make sure everyone is OK, I just felt alone in that moment.

I was prepped for surgery. Trent called our doula and told her there was no point in coming up to the hospital as I was now having a c-section. The nurse that prepped me was like an angel in there. You nurses....y'all are really a special breed of people! I hope you all know how amazing you are and how appreciative I am for you.

 

Sorry, had to throw that in there....

OK, so she was asking me questions.

"What are you having?" 

"What names have you picked out?"

She made me feel human and heard and important. All I could see in the doctors faces was fear and uncertainty and all I could see in hers was excitement. She was excited for me to give birth to my babies, yall! It was one of the only times, since the diagnosis, that I felt excited about this impending birth. When we found out all about Austyn's CHD, it was like all the excitement of having my babies had been slowly let out. The air in the "excitement balloon" had been slowly leaked out with every doctors appointment and every article and every "consultation" I had with my friends in the medical field. The stress and fear of birthing a baby who may have to be immediately intubated had taken any excitement I had and crushed it up like a piece of notebook paper in its scary hand.

The surgery started. I look at Trent. I have never, in the 15+ years that we have been together, seen this man so scared.

Trent Anthony is out and immediately screaming his head off. The tears start to fall. 

Holding my SON for the first time about 6 hours after birth. I couldn't believe I had a baby boy!

I will never forget when they brought him to me. I said, "Hi baby boy!" Like in slow motion, he turned his head and looked at me in awe as if to say, "I've been looking for you!"

Trent Anthony

Alvia, Jojo and Trent Anthony

Alivia holding her baby brother. Doesn't she look thrilled?😆

Proud Papa

They had a really hard time getting Austyn out. I think I remember them even using the forceps. She was just cozy, I guess. She's out. No sound. I look up at Trent.

"Is she OK? What is going on? Can you see," I hurriedly ask Trent.

"I don't know, Sweetheart. I'm not sure."

He always calls me sweetheart when he is taking the fatherly role. When he is protecting me or I am getting on his nerves. The sweetheart label made me know he was scared and was trying to hide it from me.

They took her out of the room to work on her. I told Trent to go and see what was going on. They tried to get her to breathe on her own and she wouldn't. Right as they have everything ready to start the intubation, she starts breathing. Already stubborn and running the show! Sounds like someone else I know.....ahem, TRENT!

Both babies were taken to the level 3 NICU. 

I didn't discuss this in the last entry, but in looking at the babies' hearts closely, they were concerned about Trent Anthony's heart as well. Not in the magnitude that they were concerned about Austyn's, but still concerned. That ended up being nothing and he was perfectly healthy. Not sure how I would have been able to handle that so THANK YOU GOD!

Austyn had a procedure done almost immediately to make a hole in her heart to allow the oxygen to mix in the days leading up to her surgery. I was able to see both babies and hold them later that evening. Austyn looked a little like Rocky to me💓. She was a fighter from day 1, y'all!

sweet baby girl

this is the one where I think she looks like Rocky😂
Look at that curled lip!!

this is what Austyn looked like the first time i saw her

close up of her face the first time we saw her

her face was not having it with the tape from the feeding tube

first time seeing her pretty face without anything on it

The next 6 days would be spent back and forth to the hospital. Pumping, nursing, praying, and waiting for what I thought would be the hardest day of my life. 

Oh how I wish I was right about that...

Come back for Part 3 of the Austyn Josephine series! Coming up next is her open heart surgery (arterial switch). Thanks so much for being here💓