Trent Anthony had gotten the all clear. He was released from the NICU and we were preparing to separate them for the first time. We would have to leave that day with only one. This was not my favorite idea. While we were there getting Trent Anthony ready to leave, we find out that Austyn’s open-heart surgery was going to be……THE NEXT DAY.
Ummmm, couldya have given us some damn notice??
Honestly, though, I was happy. We were getting this done.
The sooner this gets fixed, the sooner our girl can come home to us. It was
kind of like getting the ball rolling on this grueling process. Getting closer
to our happily ever after. Setting in motion the thing I had played in my mind
for 3 straight weeks. It was finally going to be over. They were going to fix
our baby girl and we were going to get to go back to normal. Back to a family
who doesn’t have to deal with things like congenital heart defects. We will
finally get to have the life that I had imagined before all this mess came in
and ruined it.
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| Saying "see you later" This is the night we had to leave Austyn at the hospital alone for the first time |
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| Holding her brother the night he came home. The next morning was the surgery. |
We went home that night, Trent, Trent Anthony and I, and
turned around at 6 am and headed back up to the hospital. I was nursing Trent
Anthony and he was 6 days old so wherever I went, he went.
I’m not sure how to explain the feeling of kissing your 6
day old newborn goodbye, while, essentially strangers, wheel her off to be
operated on. To say its something I never thought Id do, is the understatement
of my life. I remember the feeling of looking at Trent and us almost, in sync,
thinking, “What now? Do we go get breakfast?? How do we even do this?” It was
the strangest and most foreign feeling to just “go about your day” while your
teeny, tiny baby girl is having open-heart surgery.
Now we wait……
The doctors met with us every hour almost, keeping us updated
on parts of the surgery and how she was doing. The system they have in place at
The Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston is unbelievable! I felt as calm as I
could because of the care we received.
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| Trent Anthony on the day of surgery waiting for his "womb-mate" to get fixed |
When the surgery was over, Trent went in
to see her first. I can’t really remember but I think I was scared and wanted
him to go first.
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| 8pm the night of surgery |
Over the next few days, she did amazing! She was doing
everything she needed to do so that they could go down on medications and get
her moved down to the regular cardiac floor. The timeline for this is blurry, but I vividly remember being so anxious to get her home. I couldn’t wait to
have my entire family under one roof so we could heal from all of this and live
our lives. From surgery to going home, was 12 days. The cardiologist told me she
was a 5lb Rockstar. Everyone was shocked at how well she was doing and the fact
that she was ready to go home on Day 12.
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| a few days post surgery |
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| Granny getting to meet Austyn |
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| waiting to be discharged |
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| that newborn sleep smile |
Leaving that hospital with my baby girl, was one of the
happiest days of my life. Yes, I knew we had lots of doctor’s appointments in
our future but she was still going to be sleeping at my house. She was going to
be nursing with her twin brother on our couch. She was going to be there with
us. My family was going to be complete.
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| in the car pulling out of TCH feeling so thankful to have my sweet baby girl |
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| proud big sis |
The next 13 days went as normal as they could when you have newborn
twins, a 3 ½ year old, and are trying to recover from a c-section while your
infant is trying to recover from open-heart surgery. I have to say, I do
remember loving every minute of it. I’m sure I was tired and in pain and all of
that, but I definitely remember feeling so damn happy! So happy that my family
was together and that I had my babies safe with me.
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| Austyn Josephine |
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| the day Austyn (left) came home |
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| framed in my kitchen Austyn (left) Trent Anthony (right) |
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| Trent Anthony (left) Austyn (right) |
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| Austyn is in yellow and I'm pretty sure she was wide awake here |
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| My favorite picture of her. An early morning feeding |
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| When I took this picture I didn't realize that Alivia had been playing with a "big sister" ducky and two "twin" duckies seen on the bath tub |
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| first walk with all my babies (Austyn in front Trent Anthony in back) |
It was a time I remember in
two very different ways. I look back on it as a time of great joy because we
were done with “the hard part,” but also a time of calm before the storm. You
know how when you are watching a movie and you, the audience, are the only
ones who know that some stuff is about to go down. You know the character isn’t
safe, but you can’t tell them. You just have to watch with a pit in your stomach
and feel terrible for the poor girl in the story who is about to have the most traumatic
event of her life happen. The thing is....she has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.
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| Austyn (left), Trent Anthony (right) |
That’s how I feel when I think about that time of those 13
days when Austyn was home with us. My pretty little life was about to be my
worst nightmare and there was nothing I could do about it…
